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Searching for normalcy




For a year and a half now I've been living in this strange phase being pulled into too many directions. Last September I started my PGCE course to train as a teacher. It was a decision born out of Covid experiences as well as feeling stuck in my old job. It was the right decision. But it also meant having very tight budget, blowing through most of my savings as well as having little time to myself. Having finished the course and getting my teacher status I was hoping things would calm down. Oh, how naive I have been. Living in a poorly connected village in England, means that my public transportation link are very limited. Having no driving license restricted my job choices, to where I could get on that public transport. As one might imagine, that led to me not getting a job straight away.

Thank the gods for my old workplace. They were happy enough to take me on as a part-time, zero-hours worker and gave me the flexibility to start my driving lessons. My very expensive driving lessons! So there I was, last July, working in my old place and learning how to drive, scouring job sites for any teaching job offers in a place I would be able to commute to. I have to send thanks to whoever was watching over me and allowed me to meet some truly great people. In late October I have heard from the college in which I was training during my PGCE course. They had a part-time job going on and they encouraged me to apply! Great, I loved it there and was eager to go back.

So here I am, working in my old place part time, taking driving lessons, and working part time as a teacher at the college! Yay! So what if I feel like I'm developing split personalities, I'm going in the right direction. So what if I also have to go to Poland to visit family and deal with some bureaucratic stuff, I can do it! I will do it! marking essays on the plane? Easy-peasy! Not.

Sigh. I'm truly grateful for all the opportunities and all the wonderful people in my life. I'm getting to do what I'm truly passionate about while also managing to learn how to drive and being able to still support myself. All the people in my life are truly supportive, my boyfriend even goes out in a car with me, and has the patience of a sain when I stall the car four times on a roundabout. I'm settling into something of a routine and managing to shed at least some of the stress I've been living with for the best part of the last two years.

But... There always is a but, isn't there. In my case the but is the fact that the part of my life that suffers the most is my writing. Oh, don't get me wrong, I still have tons of ideas, and my characters as are loud as ever in my head. I simply don't get enough of time to write, though. I believe last time I worked on my newest WIP was three weeks ago, and the scene that's been sitting in my head ever since then have only poured onto paper (or into a word document) today. Hopefully I manage to pass my driving test first time and that'll give me some breathing time. After that I only need to wait to the end of the school year and I might manage to snag some more teaching hours so I'm not taking two buses to get from one workplace to another. Things will get better. Eventually.

For now I might just look into publishing some short stories, or maybe something like the royal road, so that I can publish smaller chunks regularly.

Cross your fingers for me!


Oh, and have a taste of what's keeping me positive, below:


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